my dad demanding mints in exchange for a ride home
He probably meant 10 minutes….
Wow! You’re probably right… What am I going to do with all of these mints!?
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.
at yeast he had a good life
Christian mother logic
This plate is the only thing which is allowed to tell me how to live my life..
American Horror Story out takes
This is an important gif
This will be the only picture I will post of this asshole!
Check out this comic I just made